10 Easy Tips to Clean Up Your Personal Relationships

Relationships of all types can often have a draining effect on your energy and your self care. So being able to identify those relationships that prove to be ENERGY VAMPIRES is a great start to setting up healthy boundaries so you are able to protect your energy from such relationships.

We’ve all had relationships that you’ve stayed hung around in that you should have cut off much earlier from, but you just didn’t know how to do it. Well here are 10 tips on how to clean up those personal relationships and what you should do when you need to end one.

10 TIPS ON HOW TO CLEAN UP YOUR RELATIONSHIPS

1. Never Text to End a Relationship. By doing this you are not allowing, not just yourself but also the other party that is involved to communicate real emotion. Much of what makes ending a relationship difficult is the unknown emotional reactions that comes with it. But when you allow the proper interaction it can make all the difference with getting through an uncomfortable conversation. So regardless of the uncomfortability you may feel with having this type of conversation it is better to honor your decision and properly close the chapter on that relationship. Also phone calls and Video Chat are also a safe and better means of communicating if you don’t want to end it in person.

2. Regardless of the other party it is Always Best to Console in the Very Few and to Acknowledge Most. This means it is healthy to talk about the end of a relationship with those you trust and respect. And when inquisitions arise from the end of a relationship try to keep those discussions and details close to your heart, but have the courage and grace to acknowledge when the relationship has ended to others. Remember you do not owe anyone an explanation or the gritty details of how things ended, so don’t feel pressured to explain.

3. Put Your Own Needs First Before Bending over Backwards for Others. Helping others is a great attribute to have, but when helping others turns in to neglecting your own emotional needs and peace then it’s time to reassess. I want you to repeat after me “I am not responsible for anyone’s happiness but my own.” There is nothing wrong with sharing kindness with those your care for, but what will never truly last if you are being used as the only means for someone else’s happiness. You can only control your own happiness, emotions, actions, and words. A great foundation for a healthy relationship is taking responsibility for your own happiness and not the happiness of others. You can do kind things that are within your personal boundaries but at the end of the day he/she is solely responsible for their own happiness.

4. Take Notes On When Your Boundaries Are Crossed. Whether it’s a mental or a note on your phone, keeping track of when others purposely cross your boundaries is a good way to determine if it is time to take a step back from those relationships. A lot of the time we tend to let things slide and we don’t see the big picture of a relationship until we are too far in to it. I know that if I had taken some notes on the red flags that would come up with others I would have been a lot quicker to distance myself from them. When someone crosses the boundaries you’ve set up to protect your energy, you have the right to let him/her know when they have crossed it. Example “Hey _____. I felt ________ when you did/said ________. I want us to enjoy our time together, and feeling _______ is not how I want to feel when we are together. If you can’t respect this boundary of mine then I won’t be comfortable continuing our relationship.”

5. Take A Break. Maybe you don’t need to end the relationship completely and you both just need a agreed upon time frame to heal and see where you are at the end of the break. By taking a break this allows you to adjust your energy and routine without him/her actively in your life. When you are on a break honor that with no communication with him/her so you can truly take time for yourself, because if you’ve come to the decision of needing to take a break then for seriously take a break and reset.

6. Verbal Abuse is Still Abuse. Don’t be fooled thinking that you need to have physical scars to show proof of abuse. Mental scars are just as real as physical ones and just as long to heal if not longer. If the interactions you have with him/her consistently leave you emotionally drained, emotionally trampled, and emotionally beat up then those are RED FLAGS. You have the right and power to cut off anyone who makes you less than because you deserve peace and happiness in your life and recognizing those whose give you the opposite of this should be cut out.

7. Family Members Should Be Held to the Same Standard. Let’s say your Aunt Mary constantly brings you down with the interactions you have with her you have EVERY RIGHT to protect your vibes and energy and disconnect with her. And if you’ve discussed this with her and she still hasn’t changed then there is nothing wrong with limiting your interactions with her. You only have so many F*cks to give in this life so choosing where to put those F*cks is important, because why waste energy on others who obviously don’t care how their negative interactions affect you.

8. Delete Social Media. Before you send me a strongly worded email I should clarify, I mean to say you should delete social media from your phone and not your actual account…. unless you feel like you need to. Taking a digital detox is a great way to enjoy life in the moment instead of endlessly scrolling through social media. I say delete because this will help with the unconscious habit of checking social media constantly. So give yourself 7-10 days or more of no social media and journal how you feel during this time. And when it’s time to hop back on set some boundaries for when and how often you scroll social media. Also unfollow any account that brings up anxiety or negative feelings about yourself.

9. Blocking Might Be Better Than a Break. So let’s say you’ve done your due diligence and have followed the steps above but the same things keep happening even after you’ve established your boundaries. Then it’s time to block, delete and disconnect. Remember that you are taking care of yourself and are not responsible for someone else’s needs, emotions, or actions. You can only control what you do, so don’t allow others to manipulate you in to thinking that you are responsible for their anger, happiness or even sadness.

10. When in Doubt Remember Your Boundaries. The boundaries you set for yourself is not just to protect your energy but it’s also a great way to filter people out who have no intention of respecting those boundaries. Those types of people need to be filtered out quickly and swiftly. Because the longer they stay around the more likely you are going to be negatively affected by their interactions.

Alright so those are the 10 tips for cleaning up your personal relationships and starting to put your happiness first instead of being constantly trampled by other people’s needs. For more self care tips follow us on IG @savage_eel and Facebook @savageeel